As it's Fibroids Awareness Month, I'm inspired to write about my complicated journey and get on a more serious and personal level with my readers. It has taken a while to understand and grow with this condition, especially with the impact it has had on my wellbeing which makes me feel, well, a little more vulnerable than I would like.
I am glad that there is more awareness on menstrual health and that companies are starting to focus more on Endometriosis and Menopause, but there still is not a lot of talk about Fibroids.
My Story
I was diagnosed with fibroids in September 2019 after having a long, back-and-forth battle with what it was and what it wasn't. I started to feel the effects around early February of that year when I decided to wash my hair and it didn't feel like its usual fluffy and full self. I looked closer into the mirror and saw that my skin was also in a bad way, really sore, full of breakouts and dull. When I started to comb my hair, little clumps of cloud started to come away and I ran downstairs and said to my mum "I think my hair is falling out?"
Throughout the months there were noticeable changes in my mood, physical ability and nails... I know you're probably thinking out of everything why do you care about your nails? But as a youngen, I remember running away from my mother and curling up underneath the table when she wanted to cut my nails. They were my signature and my pride. Strong, long claws that where never weak, but during that time they were no more.
I experienced my first lump twice on holiday. Severe pains after a wonderful time at Feria with my mum, a small stone slowly rising to the surface whenever I laid on my back and again when I had phantom-spotted during an all-white funeral in Jamaica. Being rushed through to the toilets by a few elderly sisters after someone had tapped me on my shoulder and advised I was bleeding during a hymn, was not the highlight of my trip.
After I noticed that although blood was appearing on my bottoms, I wasn't actually bleeding and my lump had increased in 3 weeks since I was in Spain for Feria...
I needed to go to the doctors, but I was terrified.
Is it a Hernia? Is it nothing? No, it's a Fibroid.
After I got back and followed up with the doctor, it was misdiagnosed as a hernia and physically moved out of its position and I was told there was nothing to worry about. After that, it progressively got worse and larger from the trauma. There were a few other diagnoses from cysts to polyps and when I eventually got the results 3 months later, it was announced that I had this thing called a Fibroid on my left ovary - I was like "what the hell is that?"
I was working during that time and trying to balance my work life, personal life, social life and mental health. Unfortunately for me, I was in a job that was not very understanding and only cared about the 'Bradford Factor'.
Depression started to kick in as the months got colder and another tumour was rapidly growing on the right side and feeling a lot bigger than the first. Not only was it significantly larger, it was causing issues with my right leg and I was having difficulty with my ability to move around.
My performance was starting to decline and some of my clients had noticed a change in my usually positive aura, as working was not the first thing on my mind.
It would take me an hour to walk a 15-minute journey and I was constantly hurrying to the loo as the growth was resting on my bladder as well as my sciatic nerve. My plea to work from home was not granted and in an effort to keep my non-humane job, I hired a car for a few weeks to ease my commute.
"Lockdown was the best thing for me..."
On the 23rd March 2020, the day the UK lockdown was announced I underwent my first Myomectomy (open surgery). A c-section-like procedure to remove two growths, with the largest being at 12 cm, it felt like a weight was lifted from me [no pun].
Lockdown was the best thing for me at that time, it felt like everyone was convalescing with me! No work to think about whilst I was trying to mentally understand what was happening, and a hell of a relief to not commute. I healed up nicely and spent my time making crystal jewellery and meditating online with friends...
But four years later, I have very recently been diagnosed with 4 fibroids and had to leave my job a few months ago that unfortunately again, could not cater to all of my needs.
Not only is it physically and emotionally draining, but it showed me that I always need to put myself and my health first, no matter the risk. There are now many daytime talk shows discussing these issues, with more women coming to the surface about their struggles with the condition and I wish this information was available in my uncertain time of 2019.
I am finding it difficult to pinpoint why these have come back after I was given an estimated 5-6 years for them to return, but I do feel hormones and stress play a massive part. Women in this predicament usually change their diet and as mine is already altered due to my dairy intolerance and non-acidic dietary requirements, it feels difficult for me to miss out on even more foods.
However, I have been eating less food containing soy, eating more fish and drinking tailored herbal teas to help balance out any abnormalities. I have also tried to keep up Yoga, which has helped and I've heard it encourages separating the tissues. A nurse just before my surgery had told me to take sea moss, a coral-like plant traditional in Jamaican medicine which lessened my symptoms, but came back around when I had stopped taking it due to not having access.
Since feeling alone in the beginning of this journey, I have now met many other women that had or are going through the condition and it has helped me to feel less isolated.
I hope the UK can change their working policies similar to East Asia and Nordic countries which cater to women like myself who want to work, but physically cannot when they have been diagnosed with extreme menstrual issues.
Hopefully one day...
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